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FAMILY DYNAMICS. Ephesians 6:1-4. 8/9/20. AM. #31.
Ephesians 6:1-4 [New King James Version]
1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise: 3 “that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.” 4 And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.
- The home–cornerstone of society
- The home unit established by God = Husband + Wife + Children
- Children = to be nurtured in a home under God’-ordained structure
- The design of the family was to be Godly parents training godly children (Malachi 2:15 – God wants godly offspring)
- Three aspects to biblical child rearing:
- All children belong to God
- We are stewards of our children to be reared for God
- Parents will be held accountable to God for how they reared their children and children will be accountable as to how they obeyed
- Two misunderstood verses concerning child rearing in the Bible:
- Proverbs 22:6 does not guarantee that if you rear your children properly, they will be godly (emphasis in Hebrew: if you do not rear your children right, they will go by their own “bent” or sinful nature)
- Ephesians 6:3 if children are obedient to parents, they will live a long life
- A quote from Exodus 20:12 and Dt. 5:16
- Meaning: if the children of Israel obeyed godly parents generation after generation, the nation will stay in the land
- Paul’s point is that this commandment is so important that it is the only one that came with a promise from God
- This commandment is contingent on doing right (what is biblical)
- Both to the devout Jew of the OT and committed Christian of NT, children are to be trained biblically for God
- Doing what is right produces well being
- If one is right with God = trials don’t matter (Romans 8:18)
- Being eternally well is primary
- The home unit established by God = Husband + Wife + Children
- Honor to whom honor is due
- The key to children obeying their parents is to honor them
- Honor = to value, respect , and to hold in esteem
- Value is intrinsic and not feeling -based (parents are to be esteemed because they hold the God-ordained position of parent)
- Honor is owed to the parent by God given right
- 1 Peter 2:17 all people are to be esteemed (Genesis 1:26-28)
- 1 Timothy 5:3 honor godly widows
- Acts 28:10 Paul honored for healing of Publius’s father
- Matthew 15:4 Jesus chastised the Pharisees for dishonoring parents
- Deuteronomy 21:18-23 capital punishment for dishonoring children
- Matthew 15:1-11 dishonoring parents violates God’s Law
- John 5:22-23 honor the Son as you honor God the Father
- The main problem with obeying this commandment is that many parents are not honorable and do not obey the Lord
- These parents still deserve respect as parents
- Obey parents “in the Lord” = follow the Lord first (Saul and Jonathan)
- Ephesians 4:32 important not to be bitter against God or parents (faithful)
- Super Dad
- The father carries the greatest responsibility in the family (accountable)
- Missing or abusive fathers will be judged severely by the Lord
- Children need to have godly men as mentors (church leaders)
- Dad is given 3 commands:
- Do not provoke (exasperate; irritate) your children to anger
- Don’t frustrate children via abuse, unreasonableness, arbitrariness, inconsistency, hypocrisy, ridicule…
- Children are to be nurtured, not misused
- Nurture children = to bring up to full health, training, strength, and maturity (mentoring, caring full, spiritual and applied education)
- Admonish children = to warn children against evil and to make sure they serve the Lord (training by example, instruction; discipline)
- Romans 15:14 believers are to admonish one another
- Hebrews 10:24-25 challenge each other to serve the Lord
- Do not provoke (exasperate; irritate) your children to anger
- There is a delicate balance among training, encouraging, and disciplining children
- Training children is an awesome stewardship responsibility
- Prideful, self-centered dads can’t do an effective job rearing children
- There is forgiveness and healing for those who were not effective dads, for moms who reared their children alone, and for children reared in neglecting homes ill – believers who reared by unbelievers and the role of grandparents (Deuteronomy 4:9)
- The father carries the greatest responsibility in the family (accountable)
Key verse: Proverbs 3:1-11 [New King James Version]
1 My son, do not forget my law,
But let your heart keep my commands;
2 For length of days and long life
And peace they will add to you.
3 Let not mercy and truth forsake you;
Bind them around your neck,
Write them on the tablet of your heart,
4 And so find favor and [a]high esteem
In the sight of God and man.
5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
6 In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall [b]direct your paths.
7 Do not be wise in your own eyes;
Fear the Lord and depart from evil.
8 It will be health to your [c]flesh,
And strength[d] to your bones.
9 Honor the Lord with your possessions,
And with the firstfruits of all your increase;
10 So your barns will be filled with plenty,
And your vats will overflow with new wine.
11 My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord,
Nor detest His correction